Loss of a Friend

No, she didn't die. But she is no longer part of my life.

I won't regale you with all the stories.

But when someone has been a part of your life for almost half of your life, the loss is hard.

It got too hard. Too difficult. Too fraught with tension. I got really tired of tip-toe-ing around. I got tired of not saying what was on my mind. So I stopped.

I got tired of being 'friends' with someone, when it was all about her. My stuff didn't matter.

She's a difficult person; always has been. But that was ok for a long time. And then it just got to be not-OK anymore.

I'm not saying that I am perfect.

She got really vicious at the end. It showed me that she was filled with hate and malice. The emails were written to stab and hurt; and they did.

So I'm sad. But relieved at the same time.

But more sad. Than glad.

What a Week!

What a week.

Sadly, my stepmother passed away. She and my Dad were married for 25+ years. I'm going to miss her lots. It was her time; she was 90. Love to you, Mary. My Dad passed away 8 years ago, and she has spent the past 8 years missing him terribly. I hope they are together now.

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My kid brought home germs. I caught those germs. In one day, it turned into bronchitis. Antibiotics, asthma meds. No sleep, up all night coughing, misery. 4 days later, not a whole lot better. I was supposed to be a vendor at my friend's Spring Shearing Festival today - and was up and dressed and the truck was packed with tent, etc. My husband kept telling me I was out of my mind - terrible weather forecast for cold and rainy (in Tucson?!?). I like the cold. I don't mind rain. But then I stood outside for 10 minutes, and couldn't stop coughing. I have no voice either. I decided to listen to my hubby. And I cancelled. I'm sure my friend wasn't thrilled; I'm sorry Kathy!!

And during all this, I worked my day job. Yep, worked and worked. I had a business lunch on Wednesday - people came in from out of town to see me. No way could I cancel on them. Sick as a dog, I went. I hope I didn't breathe too much on them.

and every evening worked on Woolies for the fair today, that then I didn't attend.

I sort of feel like I'm moving through a fog. A rainy fog. Similar to the outside.

And underneath it all, a sadness for losing Mary. She's never far from my thoughts. I imagine hearing her voice. My last conversation with her was just a couple of weeks ago. Feisty Mary. I will miss her so.

Look at little Boo running to me in the rain. :)

Did I tell you the story about the snake in the yard? I'll save that one for another day....