Hmmmm. I almost always keep my posts upbeat (well, there was the one post when I was panic stricken waiting for biopsy results), but I'm not feeling upbeat. I don't really know why, either.
1. My oldest son is away. He's 16 1/2, going on 25, and he's spending a week with his friend Anna in Atlanta. It's the first time he's gone away. On a plane. By himself. And he even bought his plane ticket himself, with money he earned from his job at Cold Stone Creamery (ice cream store). I really miss him; it doesn't feel right without him.
2. My youngest son is turning 14 in a week and a half. He just graduated from 8th grade. He'll be in high school in 2 months. (School starts August 8th around here). He's gone with friends a lot. A lot of the time, it's just me and my husband for dinner. Tonight, it was me, my husband, and my father in law, who spends every Sunday with us ever since my mother in law died in January. I miss her terribly. Can't even begin to explain it. Life feels very lonely.
This is my son's 8th grade graduation. A wonderful cloudy day. And it rained all day after the ceremony, which was at 730am. I adore cloudy days. It's always freaking sunny here in the damn desert.
3. I hate Tucson. My next door neighbor is the biggest ...... that I've encountered in a very very long time. I'll write about that situation another time. For the past year, ever since they moved in, it hasn't been so great, and now it's escalated. They are hostile, and accusatory, and awful. Perhaps I should mention that it is THEIR dog that barks 300 times during every single day, and has woken us up at 6am every single solitary morning ever since they moved in. I finally had enough and said something, and now apparently I am the most evil person on the planet. OK, I promised to not rant about that.
It's summer here, which means HOT. Although, the last few days, it hasn't been that hot. So I'm not sure why I'm complaining.
I hate it here. I miss water. There isn't even a creek, or a pond, let alone the beach. I want to move. 4 more years, then my youngest will graduate high school, and I'm leaving.
4. My horse Belle has something wrong with her. Not a very big deal, I don't think, but she has scabs in her nose - very delicate area. How did that happen? So bought some medicine, it is bright pink. Makes her look very attractive.
5. We're getting a new horse soon. We're spending a lot of money building a stall and clearing land, etc. Money that we shouldn't be spending. But....I have a new potential riding student coming to meet me tomorrow, so hopefully will be making part of the money back soon.
6. I hate holiday weekends. People are always with their big giant familes and their 80 million friends, and I am not.
OK, I think I'm done bitching and feeling sorry for myself for the moment.
Sorry everybody.
Just so you can see the mountains. I do like the mountains.
3 comments:
Oh Sara, I am sorry you are so down! I totally get what you are feeling...and I wish I could be there to hang with you over the holidays. We have no-one visiting us during the holidays either.
But we are just chilling out at home and it's pretty peaceful, which I prefer anyway. And annoying neighbors suck...and HOT weather all the time sucks.
You should move to TN...then we could do stuff together and neither one of us would feel so lonely :0)
(((HUGS)))
Sara,don't apologize for how you feel.*Hugs* It's so good to let loose sometimes!!!
I can relate to some of the things you write about very well.
We have two boys the same ages as yours and a 10 year old as well. I have a really hard time with them being teenagers and getting so independent and going places with friends.
I often feel the same about holidays too. We never had family near by, do to my husbands job and have spend many holidays just with the kids.
I hope things look up for you soon and that your horse is getting over what ever she has.
Keep writing about your bad days/times too. Live isn't just all fun and many of us can relate with you!
*hugs*
Sue
It's life in transition Sara, and it makes you feel out of sorts. And that's ok. At least you know for sure where you DON'T want to be in a few years. It probably doesn't help for now, but being honest goes a long way towards change.
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