Thursday, October 27, 2011

Loss of a Friend

No, she didn't die. But she is no longer part of my life.

I won't regale you with all the stories.

But when someone has been a part of your life for almost half of your life, the loss is hard.

It got too hard. Too difficult. Too fraught with tension. I got really tired of tip-toe-ing around. I got tired of not saying what was on my mind. So I stopped.

I got tired of being 'friends' with someone, when it was all about her. My stuff didn't matter.

She's a difficult person; always has been. But that was ok for a long time. And then it just got to be not-OK anymore.

I'm not saying that I am perfect.

She got really vicious at the end. It showed me that she was filled with hate and malice. The emails were written to stab and hurt; and they did.

So I'm sad. But relieved at the same time.

But more sad. Than glad.


Harvest Moon by Hand said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like a painful ending. My thoughts are with you.

Mare said...

Hi Sara,
I have had this happen a few times in my life, and it is a very hard thing to go thru. It almost feels like a death or a divorce. Give yourself some time to process your feelings and know that you were the best friend you could be for that person. Sometimes that means letting them go...I send my love...mare

Linda said...

Sending love your way Sara.